Oh good gracious. Oh my lanta. Today has been quite a day. I learned a few things today.

1.) Snoop Dog is more country than Tim McGraw. Allow me to explain. There is a long-running debate over who is better in our office: Johnny Cash or Stevie Nicks. Honestly, I don't have a dog in the fight, other than actually knowing who Johnny Cash is for the majority of my life, and not knowing who Stevie Nicks was until the Grammy's when she sung back-up for Taylor Swift. So, one of our staffers is OBSESSED with Stevie Nicks, and the one with a desk next to hers is a pretty big fan of Johnny Cash... and the saga continues. There's always an ongoing debate. Johnny Cash ends up being a big topic of conversation about every other day. My Chief of Staff started talking about it today with a couple of us, and he came up with five subject criteria that are required to be considered a country singer:
1.) Drugs
2.) Jail
3.) A 100 year old truck
4.) Heartache
5.) Jesus
Apparently Tim McGraw doesn't fit the bill. However, Snoop Dog did a cover of one of Johnny Cash's albums, so technically, he does... and he sings about a lot of drugs and jail time on his own too. So, according to my COS, he's much more country than Tim McGraw.

2.) Mars Inc. is a wonderful thing. And it's located in Lancaster County. Which means it's not a bribe for them to send us boxloads of chocolate for free. Which means I have six cardboard boxes CHUCK FULL of Dove chocolate, Milky Way bars, etc. in my office, free for the eating. Like I said, it's a wonderful thing.

3.) We are zombies. Let me clarify, we are "zombies" being mind-controlled by Intelligence officers commissioned by the United States, who can control every thought, subconscious and conscious, and can give you every symptom under the sun, from causing you to break bones to hot flashes. We didn't know about this until a lady informed us kindly by letter today, as she did with the other 534 members of the United States House and Senate. It was quite incredible. Actually, she didn't inform us, her Intelligence officer did through her. Or at least that's what it said at the end of the letter. I suggest that for your safety you check out her website. You never know when you might need to tell the people controlling YOUR mind that you know they're controlling your mind.

http://www.mindcontrolusa.com